In the same boat

Last night, as I was preparing my fish to go on the braai, I cut myself. Luckily it was one of those superficial cuts which you only notice when it stings. I continued with my prep and then moved onto my veg dish of aubergine in onion, garlic, ginger, soy sauce and a few other spices, hoping that the “making of it” would be worth the effort, since Jason hates aubergine. I was trying to “mask it”, same as what my parents did to broccoli, drowning it in cheese sauce! Turns out it is not necessarily the taste of the aubergine, but the texture! Gosh, why has he never mentioned this before?

With all of these “non events” that was occurring in my household I wondered what Mr President would say this time. What was he going to try and hide? How deep was his cut going to be? Was it going to be superficial or was it going to need stitches? Was he going to be able to mask the bitter taste and turn it into honey or would it still be an aubergine no matter how much he was going to try and hide it?

Whilst waiting for “the speech”, I scrolled through Facebook and my eyes fell on a petition pertaining to those still “stuck” at sea. With borders being closed and planes being grounded these crew members have no way of getting home. I could literally feel their anguish. I reflected and realized that this was my “sign” to refer to that time of my life.

Almost 20 years ago, I wanted to see the world, but I could not afford to do so. The only option I had at the time was to work on cruise ships! It did not take long after I had applied and I was off on what turned out to be quite an adventure, that would change my life forever!

Now lets put this into perspective for you. I was in my early 20’s, still living with my parents, had never been out the country, never mind on an aeroplane and now I was flying to the furtherest point from Cape Town to Vancouver, via London! Excited much was an understatement! Yes, there was lots of tears at the airport, especially since I was also leaving, what I thought at the time, quite a serious relationship behind! I think secretly, although sad to see me go, my mother was glad that I was leaving the boyfriend behind, lol! Moving swiftly along, I guess you could compare it to your “gap”” year leaving for London, but this was on a completely other level, since at the time, I was also only going to be doing this for 6 months, never mind a year!

My first couple of weeks were spent in training on Sun Princess sailing in Alaska. I had never even heard about Alaska until then and now here I was! After about a month of training I was then sent to Copenhagen to join the Crown Princess, which was going to be my “home” for the next 6 months, sailing first in the Baltic’s, then we crossed the Atlantic for the Canada/ New England season. When I disembarked from the Crown Princess, there was LOTS of tears. In my mind it was going to be my one and only contract, so I would never see these friends again. Boy, was I wrong!

I was home barely a month, with the boyfriend now being an ex, it felt like I had no reason to be back home, so when I got the call to return after 6 weeks, I could not resist! I tried hard to get back onto the Crown, but it was not meant to be. Instead I was sent to the Grand Princess for her Mexican Riviera/Caribbean season. This contract would be the “defining” one. I met “my Italian” and close friendships formed most notably with the “founder” of my now Book Club.

Contract after contract, I would “follow” the Italian ship to ship, Grand x 2, Royal Princess, Sun Princess, Dawn Princess x 2. His contracts were generally 4 months, whereas mine were 6. He would then either then “extend” to 5 and I would “shorten” to the same, so that we could also spend our “holidays” together, either in South Africa or in Italy. At one stage there was lots of “transshipping” happening, with him having to relieve someone on another ship and then returning to where I was. That contract ended up being my longest ever. 9 months on the Dawn Princess! It was also the contract where extra special bonds formed with extra special friends. “Coffee dates” had new meanings, Sex and the City with Cosmos became our thing, extra long hours did not matter as we knew the importance of partying hard, but working even harder. Each contract would end in tears for the family that I was leaving behind!

After remaining the same rank for quite a while, I moved up pretty fast from Assistant to Senior. This after the Italian told me that he would never decline promotions for me and that I really should not be doing the same for him. I should have known that trouble was brewing and never have followed him to P&O Australia, which at the time was our sister company, but that worked very differently to Princess! It was the start of the beginning of the end of my life at sea.

Shortly after arriving in Australia my Italian and I ended our relationship of almost 4 years. I was devastated. I remember calling a friend whom was home in New Zealand. He heard the “pain” in my voice, asked me where our ship would be on Sunday. It was going to be Sydney. Low and behold, who was standing on the pier waiting for me that Sunday in Sydney, my “Maori-an”, even though he knew I only had a couple of hours to spare. How amazing was that? This was a testament to not only our friendship, but of many friendships formed at sea. Friendships at sea became family. You were there for your ship family no matter what!

Midway through that contract on the Pacific Sun, I was transshipped to the Pacific Sky. It was a blessing in disguise. Having my now ex Italian flaunt his new relationship in my face was more than I could bear! Yes, I might have found comfort with new found friends, but at that point everything changed for me. I realized that all my decisions I had made up until then was based around my relationship. After that contract on the Pacific Sky and a brief time at home, I was off to the Sapphire Princess, which turned out to be my last contract ever. After being with the Italian for so long and me having worked mostly in the Crew Office, because of our “positions” were a “well known” couple. There was only so much “reminders” and questions about our relationship that I could handle. As seafarers, we all had something that we were either running away from or running to. 6 years on, it was time to leave “that life” behind.

I learnt many life lessons at sea. At sea we were literally in the same boat, so you made the best of the situation which you found yourself in and you worked together as a team. Nobody cared about your past, your status in society or your sexual orientation. It was the “present you” that mattered. I learnt about tolerance and acceptance and how different nationalities could work together despite language barriers and cultures. I learnt to put on my big girl panties and face challenges head on. I saw more of the world than what I ever dreamed possible.

Looking back now, despite “my ending”, it was a time in my life that I would not trade for anything! It was not always easy. Home sickness did creep in especially when you were missing out on family traditions back home. You however learnt to appreciate the family that you were with. Despite the “glamour”, you worked your behind off. The hours were long and tiring, yet you made time for relaxation and that which was important to you.

In many ways my life at sea has made me “more tolerant” to lock-down. I can live in a confined space months at a time. I used to “work from home”. I was surrounded by the same people, day in day out. Every day of the week was the same. Even with lock-down I can safely say that the only time I was ever in the same boat as anyone else, was when I was literally at sea.

My life at sea has moulded the person that I am today.

Until next time.

Love, light and positive change

Ophelia