Pandemic Fatigue

Do you remember where exactly you were when “Uncle Cyril” first announced the “hard” lock-down? I was sitting in my lounge glued to the television. We had a feeling what was coming, but we felt prepared. In the bigger scheme of things, what was 3 weeks? Fast forward to 3 weeks later and suddenly lock-down was being extended to who knows when!

When that 2nd announcement was made, tears started streaming down my face. I was overcome with emotions I never knew I had. I felt a great sense of “loss”. Loss for my freedom of movement, my social interactions, my daily routine, my domestic and gardener, exercise and everything else in-between.

I’ve always considered myself a terrible baker, but suddenly I was determined to perfect banana bread, koesisters and whatever other craving the household was having! I did not attempt the pineapple beer, but must confess to now be working on my first batch of Lemonchello! Like everyone else, I was drinking and eating more, whilst also binge watching on mindless TV and being on a cleaning frenzy of note! I was determined to keep up the high standard of my domestic at the expense of my poor husbands’ sanity because as I was cleaning, I was complaining about back ache, feet ache and just overall body ache from all the moving of furniture and stretching whilst cleaning windows and kitchen cupboards! My frenzy was on another level which gave me new found respect for not only my domestic, but also my gardener, since I found myself pulling out unwanted weeds which had grown in-between my flowerbeds and paths.

Our social inter-actions with family and friends were now done over Zoom. At first it was fun, playing games, catching up over a glass of wine, but soon the novelty of it wore off. It just was not the same as the “real thing”. We were missing our trips to the Winelands, mini-getaways, Book Club gatherings, trying out new restaurants, walks on the beach and mountains and even exercising together!

At some point I realized that my “wheel of balance” was completely “wonky”. The spoke in each aspect of my life was taking heavy strain. I desperately needed a “wheel alignment” to get back on track. I needed to re-look at my finances, my social circle, my familial relationships, my work situation, my spirituality, mental stimulation and overall physical health.

With me being on short time at work, I had to rework my finances, cancel unnecessary subscriptions, shop smarter, negotiate discounts, and save where ever I could. I started reconnecting with friendships that were important to me and cutting ties with those that were draining, spent more quality time with hubby and with the family I was able to, get a new work-life balance, especially with the way that things were almost at a complete standstill on the work front. I had to rediscover what being spiritual meant to me and the daily practice of gratitude helped with that immensely! Even with the way that things were, I really still had so much to be grateful for. The Media, TV as a whole, and even social media were sapping my mental energy. They were putting me in such a negative mindset that I just had to disconnect for my own sanity.

Yes, we were all in the same storm, but the size of our boats varied and therefore our circumstances, and with everyone saying we were in this together, when we were clearly not, just frustrated me more! TV was replaced with motivational podcasts and reading to stimulate me mentally. My exercise routine had to change dramatically. Suddenly no more swimming or cycling for me. I had to set up a home gym with my yoga mat and dumbbells and just figure out a new way of staying physically fit. And so my wheel gradually became re-aligned. It took perseverance and dedication and must confess that every day I was faced with a new set of challenges, but forward we must move.

As a coach I know the importance of getting my own house in order before I can help others. The work always needs to start on one’s self first! I started coaching entrepreneurial friends and my team and that work continues.

Whilst this Pandemic has taken its toll on all of us in so many different ways, I also had to sit back and look at what gift this pandemic has given me because yes, there are gifts in most things. We just have to look for it! One of the greatest gifts given to us as a family was the gift of time with my father-in-law. We were able to give him and my mother-in-law the much needed support and assistance during the last few weeks of his life, which would probably not have been possible to the extent that we could, prior to Covid and working from home.

For new fathers, they could experience the challenges of parenthood exactly the same way new mothers were, which in the past it was very much a one-sided experience. Parents of school-going children had challenges of their own. Some had new found respect for teachers, whilst others resented the fact that they had to home school their children, whilst teachers were still being paid a full salary. Having no children of my own, I salute parents! I do not know if I could do what you have done and some of you continue to do!

I have been able to do a lot of work on me. Something which I did not necessarily have the time for in the past. I have come to understand my true purpose in life and redefined my mission and vision. This too is a work in progress. Something which we should never stop doing! Know who you are and if you don’t then ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but in fact a sign of strength!

Do what works for you, life really is not a one-size fits all! Be kind to yourself and do not judge yourself so harshly! You have adjusted and to this “new normal”, what ever that even is! Acknowledge your accomplishments and give yourself a tap on the back. We all have our fears, but remember fear stands for “false evidence appearing real”. I am sure that like me, you still have a “to do list” which you thought at the start of this lock-down you still had time to do. I had learning Italian on my list! I read through my book briefly and then put it down. As much as what I would have loved to do it, clearly right now, it is not high on my list of priorities. Instead I am working on my coaching techniques, trying something new because me being a coach is what gives my life purpose and meaning. Know what you are good at, but also be open to trying something new and refining your skills.

Like most of you, I have my good days and my bad days. One day I am negative, the next positive. I read something interesting, make assumptions and then find myself Googling it to death! It is a constant emotional roller-coaster ride. You have to find your balance and if it takes doing a pro’s and con’s list of your circumstances, then do it! I am sure that you will discover something new doing the exercise. It is time for you to write your own rules and start living according to your highest values. Continue to work on your goals and if you do not have any, set them. Don’t worry you are allowed to change them as you go along, but be kind to yourself and have realistic ones with realistic time frames. By doing this you are also able to manage your own expectations of yourself.

I think the biggest lesson thus far, is that I have to accept that things will never be the same again. For my own sanity I have to appreciate my current reality. Life as we know it has changed, and us as the human race are adaptable! Look how we have evolved from being apes to now! Only you have the ability to change the state of your mind. I implore you, do not live in the past or even in the future. Live in the present. Who even knows what tomorrow might hold, especially with talks of a 3rd wave. To try and predict what is going to happen next month, never mind next year is absolutely crazy! Lets instead try and be solution focused on the lemons which we have been dealt with. Perception leads to grief and therefore most of us are still suffering from Pandemic Fatigue. The biggest question we should have is, “I know what the “old” normal was, but what do I want my “new” normal to look like?” What does “normal” even mean?

There are three things I know for sure. 1) Pandemic Fatigue is a real thing. 2) This too shall pass. 3) Who knows what is good or bad?

Until next time,

Light, love, value and GROWTH

Ophelia

(Photo credit to Ksenia Chernaya from Pexels)